As parents, it can be way too easy to slip into a pattern of yelling way more than we like.
Not only does this create a scary, toxic environment for everybody, but it's not even effective.
Here's 10 things to try instead. They might not always work, but neither does yelling, and you just might find that you need to use them less after a while.
Remember the old adage: The days are long but the years are short. Parenting is hard, but so is being a child. Try responding in some new ways and see if the days get a little easier for everybody.
Be sure to be gentle and loving to yourself too!
Himalayan crystal salt is the purest salt available on earth. Hence why it is used a lot for salt lamps. Unlike chemically treated table salt, this pink crystal salt is uncontaminated with toxins or pollutants.
The Himalayan rock salt that you use for cooking has been touted as an effective agent for reducing blood pressure and cholesterol. But did you know that Himalayan crystal salt can also help with things like headaches, allergies and even insomnia?
Health Benefits of Pink Salt
Himalayan crystal salt contains almost 100 trace minerals! Here are just some of the benefits of using this type of salt:
• It naturally regulates water in your body
• Promotes an alkaline pH in your cells, especially your brain
• Promotes sinus health
• Helps regulate sleep (insomnia)
• Supports respiratory health (especially asthma)
• Promotes healthy blood sugar levels
• Reduces the signs of aging
• Helps to generate hydroelectric energy in cells
• Helps with digestion by absorbing food particles in your intestinal tract
• Prevents muscle cramps
• Promotes bone strength
• Supporting your libido
• Promoting vascular health
• Helps regulate blood pressure (in conjunction with water)
Another big factor that scientists are only beginning to understand is the harmful effects caused by all the wireless networks that surround us day-in and day-out.
You have probably read articles or even seen on the news how researchers are now showing that wireless equipment such as cell phones, emit positive ions that create what is called “electronic smog” that’s wreaking havoc on our bodies.
In fact, every day our brains are exposed to 20 times as much electronic smog than it should, making it necessary for people to find a way to counter this bombardment.
And one of the best ways to counter this is by using Himalayan salt, which is a natural source of negative ions.
While eating Himalayan salt is helpful for many things, you need to use a different form to release negative ions that will attach to the positive ions in your environment.
When these negative ions attach to the positive ones they essentially neutralize them and the surrounding air becomes pure, almost sparkling like the feeling when you are at the beach or standing near waterfalls. It leaves you feeling positive and fresh.
Himalayan Salt Lamps
These beautiful lamps come in various sizes and depths of color (white, pink, orange, and red) depending on where they were mined, but they all do the same thing.
They are carved out to place a small light bulb in the bottom that not only supplies the light, but also heats up the salt, which is how it releases the negative ions.
Because the salt also attracts moisture from the environment, when it becomes humid the salt may glisten slightly as though it is wet, but it will evaporate easily through the heat of the light bulb.
The salt’s negative ions neutralize the positively charged ions in the air. You can expect the salt lamp to help eliminate electronic smog created by various wireless devices in the home.
Add a salt lamp to every room or at least the ones with the most pollutants (rooms with TVs, computers, wireless devices and allergens).
Apart from their obvious beauty, they will help keep your home smelling fresh and clean and your body healthy and strong.
Himalayan Pink Crystal Bath Salts
200 gram bag of rock Pink Himalayan Crystal Bath salts with wooden scooper. Serves 2-3 baths. Makes a great gift. Himalayan salts are said to contain 84 essential minerals that not only make skin baby-soft, but also efficiently detox the entire body.
Himalayan Salt LED Lamp - Multi-color Pyramid with USB
The perfect desk accessory! Plug these naturally cleansing lamps directly into a computer or lap top to benefit from the positive effects of the negative ions they produce. Create a relaxing glow and enjoy the ever changing colors of the pyramid lamp. Can easily add a plug adapter for any room.Size: Approx 5" tall, base 3.5" x 3.5"
Herbal Bath Blend, Cold Relief Mix
Enjoy a healing bath with this Cold Relief Bath Blend handmade from Yummy Mummy Emporium. $5.99
Refrigerate these botanicals after your first bath and use for up to 3 soaks. Helps to reduce congestion, fever and aches from colds and flu. A light brew is safe for babies and children.
By Amandha D. Vollmer, BSc, ND, Independent
Proprietor, Holistic Practitioner, Yummy Mummy Emporium & Apothecary.
Arthritis is an issue of toxicity. The body works together as a whole system. When the organs of elimination (liver, kidneys, skin, lungs) are over burdened and there are insufficient nutrients, the body stores toxins that are back-logged into areas it deems as 'inert'. The blood must remain a specific way to properly carry oxygen. Toxins that the liver cannot filter from the blood are dumped into the lymphatic system and pulsed out back into the blood when it can filter more. As things accumulate, joint spaces are used to store toxic material and can then cause localized inflammation and subsequent calcification. The typical arthritic complaints one develops over time are caused by these accumulations. Even rheumatoid arthritis is due to toxicity, it's just that it is due to an infectious agent, and the immune system is trying to attack the tissue, the only recourse to destroying the parasitic host. This is called 'auto-immune' but why we see "self attack" is due to something in the cells that should not be there. The body is brilliant.
To heal arthritis, detoxify the organ systems, increase key nutrients and balance the immune system. Assist all the routes of elimination to work properly once again. To help the crystallized deposits return to solution (blood to liver and kidneys), drink parsley and corn silk tea 2 cups daily, as well as hibiscus and chia seed water during the day (2L ideally, see below for recipe). Turmeric and boron are both powerful anti-inflammatory medicines. Use my All-Natural Joint Care Pepper Rub which will also support this process and eat a meat free diet while you are healing. Eat a milk, grain and GMO free diet as well, juice often and eat many superfoods. Avoid medication which further damages the organs of elimination and suppresses the proper body mechanics to act as they require to heal the body properly.
If you wish to book me for a consultation, here's how it works.
HIBISCUS FLOWER & CHIA SEED INFUSION RECIPE
Notice Copyright Claim & Disclaimer: The entire contents of this email are based upon the opinions of Amandha D. Vollmer, BSc, ND, independent holistic practitioner, unless otherwise noted. Individual articles are based upon the opinions of the respective author, who retains copyright as marked. The information in this email is not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified health care professional and is not intended as medical advice. It is intended as a sharing of knowledge and information from the research and experience of Amandha D. Vollmer. Amandha D. Vollmer encourages you to make your own health care decisions based upon your research and in partnership with a qualified health care professional.
I found a fantastic article on low milk supply. Many mothers that come into the store tell me they think they are not making enough milk! Most mothers actually are and here is some valuable information to calm a new mother and help her understand breastfeeding, milk production and how to be sure your beautiful body is behaving how it's designed. The good news: it probably is!
Forgive me for asking but...
Do you REALLY have low milk supply?
This is a very important place to start. Please bear with me. I don’t mean to doubt your situation and be annoying patronising lactation consultant woman but it’s crucial to note that the MAJORITY of new mothers who fear they have low milk supply DO NOT.
The majority of women who start to use formula because they worry they aren’t making enough or baby isn’t getting enough DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM.
I cannot emphasise this enough.
Every day mothers panic and end breastfeeding or start using formula and there is not an underlying problem with their milk supply. But of course – once they start using formula without correct support, they often will start to send signals to their breasts to really reduce supply.
· You do not have low milk supply just because your baby won’t go the X number of hours between feeds that the book on your coffee table tells you they should. Or your mother-in-law. Or the X number of hours your friend’s baby is going between feeds.
A normal happy healthy baby who has a gorgeous mummy with a normal healthy milk supply might get hungry an hour after the last feed, or 90 minutes, or 45 minutes or two hours. They might be cluster feeding and hardly want to come off the breast at all. They might be having a growth spurt and feed every hour for a day.
·You do not have low milk supply because your breasts have stopped leaking. Some mothers leak less than others. MOST mothers notice that leaking reduces at the weeks go by and the teeny tiny sphincter muscles responsible tighten.
· You do not have low milk supply because your breasts feel softer than they used to. The excessive fullness we experience in the early days of breastfeeding is about vascular engorgement (blood and lymph) and it’s about the body inefficiently storing unnecessary amounts of milk between feeds. As time goes by, the breasts get cleverer at storage (don’t forget milk is also made while a baby is actually feeding). There is also less blood and lymph needed in the breasts as breast tissue growth slows down. At the beginning, it’s often very obvious which breast is going to be fed from next. That feeling goes. And many mothers mistakenly connect it with a reduction in milk supply. We are not all supposed to continue feeling heavy and full throughout our breastfeeding experience. Don’t ever think ‘I’ll wait to let my breasts fill up!’ Noooooo. This shows a misunderstanding of how lactation works to a spectacular degree. When breasts are fuller, milk production slows down. When breasts are emptier, milk production increases. Emptier softer breasts may well be making a heap more milk in a 24 hour period than the engorged full versions.
· You do not have low milk supply because your baby feeds for a short time. Plenty of babies get everything they need in under ten minutes. Probably not five – but sometimes a feed might even be five minutes long. Lots of babies use their tongue and jaw muscles super efficiently and gulp and glug and slow down as the milk gets fattier and thicker and then come off happy. It might take them nine minutes or nineteen. A baby might start off life needing 30 minutes to drain a breast (when we say ‘drain’, breasts are never completely empty, it just means the baby has taken out all the milk they usefully want to). As a baby gets older, this can dramatically reduce. It doesn’t mean less milk is going in. If a small sleepy jaundiced baby falls asleep very quickly at the breast without some solid minutes of good swallowing, that’s a different story. Overall however, a longer feed does not always mean a better one.
· You do not have low milk supply because you have small breasts. Large breasts are a combination of fatty tissue and glandular tissue. You cannot tell much about someone’s milk production by the size of the breasts. If you are really worried your breasts don’t ‘look right’, we’ll come back to this later.
· You do not have low milk supply just because your baby wakes up a lot. Plenty of young babies feed with similar intervals day and night. Plenty continue waking every 2-3 hours for a while.
· You do not have low milk supply because your baby won’t ‘go down’ after a feed. So you feed your baby and they drop off to sleep on the breast. You move them to the Moses basket and they wake up as if you just placed them on a sheet of molten lead. And they seem to be rooting again. This happens because being next to you skin-to-skin was nice and cosy and relaxing and warm and it smelt good. The Moses basket is cold and NOT YOU. You probably triggered the Moro startle reflex when you moved them. You probably moved them about 15-30 minutes after a feed when the hormone cholecystokinin had dropped in their blood stream causing them to be more wakeful. Your teeny primate mammal baby finds the breast a lovely place to be. They like to suck to relax themselves. Babies like second helpings. This does not mean you are not making enough milk.
· You do not have low milk supply because your baby will take milk out of a bottle after a feed. Put a teat against a young baby’s palate and you trigger that baby’s sucking reflex. Babies will usually continue to take milk beyond the point that they need it. This is one of the reasons we see links between bottlefeeding and obesity.
You do not have low milk supply you cannot feel your 'letdown' reflex (milk ejection reflex). Some women feel an electrical tingle at the point the milk lets down. Some don't. Crucially some feel it for the first few weeks and then it fades. This fading sometimes worries people. It does not mean anything has changed with your milk supply and it is perfectly normal for the sensation to go.
·You do not have low milk supply because you don’t pump very much milk. Pumping and breastfeeding are surprisingly unrelated. Your baby removes milk in a completely different way. Plenty of women with healthy milk supplies fail to pump much at all. Their bodies can’t be tricked into eliciting the milk ejection reflex (or ‘letdown’). Plus pumps don’t always work. Suction goes as valves get old.
These are the things that REALLY tell you a mother might have low milk supply:
· Weight gain problems. A newborn is born and then loses weight. They regain birth weight at around two weeks. They then put on about 150-200g a week after that. That slows down after around four months. If your newborn loses more than 10% of their body weight, we might pay attention but we’ll also want to look at things like your birth. Did you have a drip in labour that filled you and your baby with fluid? Did your gorgeous newborn look a wee bit like the Stay Puft marshmallow man in their first photos? That fluid elevated the birth weight and as it comes out again in the first few days, we might see more of a weight drop. That doesn’t necessarily mean feeding or supply is a problem. However we wouldn’t want your baby to lose weight after about day five or lose weight a second time. It might take some babies three weeks to get back up to birth weight.
Have a look at the chart in your red book. Notice how we have birth weight line and then a space where the curvy lines don’t go and they start again at week two. Just because your baby was born on the 75th percentile, that doesn’t mean we would expect them to definitely re-start on the 75th after that two week gap. That’s why the lines don’t continue. That’s why we have that space. We start again at two weeks. Your baby might be on the 50th then. They then ideally will roughly stick in the same vicinity. But babies wobble around a bit. They might dip below. They might get close to the 25th. And then they might bob back up again. We don’t expect all babies to hug a line exactly. This chart is a guide. It’s about averages. It’s not about mathematical certainties.
· Nappies. In the early days (first four weeks), we look at poo and pee. After your milk has come in (around day two to five), we’d expect to see six wet nappies in 24 hours and three poos the size of a £2 coin or bigger. After week four, some babies' poo rate can slow right down. This doesn’t mean anything is wrong. Some babies can skip several days between poos and this isn’t anything to do with milk transfer or supply. However if someone tells you it’s OK for a ten day old baby not to poo for a few days, don’t believe them. We’d need to investigate that situation. Only later on do we relax.
Weight gain and nappies. That’s it. Those are the only things that tell us about milk supply. You may hear people say that ‘babies should be settled after a feed’ but some babies get wind or need to poo or have reflux or wake up and want second helpings. Let’s be careful about even saying that. Let’s look at weight gain and nappies.
So let’s now assume you do have low milk supply. How many of you are still with me? I’m sorry if you are. I’m sorry if your baby only put on 60g last week and 90g or less or nothing the week before that and they are slipping down the percentiles. I’m sorry because I know how scary that can feel. Nothing feels like it matters more. There are things we can do.
1. Find people.
Find people who know about breastfeeding. Someone who tells you just to use formula in this situation is not who you need. If that’s all they can offer you, they don’t know about breastfeeding and you need someone else. You need someone who understands how lactation works. These people may actually still tell you to use some formula in some situations (or donor breastmilk) but they will do so alongside telling you how to protect and develop your milk supply. You also need people close to you to look after you. If you are going to do all the other stuff on this list, you need to have people who love you who will cook your dinner and run you a bath sometimes. And text you just before the weigh-in clinic next week to say they are thinking of you.
2. Breastfeeding M.O.T.
Someone like a breastfeeding counsellor or IBCLC (lactation consultant) should check your latch. You might not be sore and your nipples might not be misshapen after a feed but something still might be going wrong. Your latch needs checking. Is baby’s chin deep into the breast? Is baby’s body close to yours? Is baby’s ear/ shoulder/ hip in a line?
They shouldn’t just check your latch but look at your breastfeeding management. Are you feeding enough? Maybe your baby doesn’t show cues very strongly and someone told you to wait for them and you’re sometimes going four hours between feeds? Maybe you need to feed more frequently?
They may also need to take a closer look at your baby. Is there a reason why baby may not be transferring milk effectively? Is this someone who can look at baby's tongue, jaw and palate? Are they familiar with the term 'tongue tie' and especially 'posterior tongue tie'? Would they know what to do if there was one? That might mean suggesting an exaggerated latch or different positions or it might mean referring you to a tongue tie specialist.
When are you changing sides? Too quickly? (and baby is missing the fatty milk). OR did someone tell you to stick on one side forever to get that ‘hind milk’ and the baby is on 45 minutes without doing a heck of a lot? Maybe you need to change sides at 20-30 minutes instead and get baby a greater volume of milk overall and fatty milk overall. Both of these habits can cause weight gain problems. Get someone to help you recognise what swallowing looks like so you’ll know when to change sides and when good feeding has finished.
3. Google ‘breast compressions’. You’ll get to a video and handout from Dr Jack Newman. You can finish a feed with breast compressions and get an extra dose of fatty milk into baby.
4. You have 3 sides and 4 sides. This is ‘switch nursing’. Try and go back to the first side. There will be milk there. The more breastfeeding you do, the more milk you will make. The second time you return to that breast, the milk will be fattier and richer and you’ll send great signals to your body to make more.
5. Find time.
If you are going to build up your supply, get help. You can’t devote time to switch nursing and skin-to-skin when you have to go to Tesco to buy milk and pick up another child from school. If this is ‘Operation Milk supply’, who can help you? You’ll read people talking about a ‘babymoon’. Go to bed, they say. Just you and the baby. Feed lots. If that sounds appealing, go for it. Personally my babymoon would involve the sofa and box sets and crisps. However there’s no point in babymoooning until next Christmas if your latch and breastfeeding management are the issues. Get that checked first.
6. Using a pump.
Baby feeding effectively is first choice but pumps can be useful. You can pump on an emptier breast to send even more signals to your milk supply. But we’re not going to take a baby off the breast do be able to pump.
You don’t need to wash and sterilize a pump every time you use it. Pop it in a plastic bag and put it back into the fridge between pumping sessions. 10 minutes is ample. If you are pumping for 30 minutes and ‘nothing is coming’ out, you are not getting a letdown and you are not doing yourself any favours. Use hand expression before and after (google ‘Marmet hand expression’) and prepare the breasts with warm compresses and massage if you can. You can take an hour and do some ‘cluster pumping’ or ‘power pumping’. Pretend to be a baby having a cluster feed. Pump for ten minutes. Break for five. Pump again and repeat.
Just check your pump is the best one available. If it’s second hand or you have had it a while, it might need servicing or replacement parts. You also might want to consider hiring a hospital grade double electric pump from someone like www.ardobreastpumps.co.uk to give yourself the opportunity to pump both sides together as effectively as possible.
Pumping shouldn’t hurt. Make sure your flanges are the right size – that means they are the right diameter for the size of your nipple. Don’t think that cranking up the suction will automatically do better things. And don’t think, “I don’t want to pump because I will empty my breasts and baby will have less milk.” Certainly they might be less appreciative if you pump just before a feed is due and you leave them with an emptier breast full of thicker fattier milk but pumping overall will increase milk supply and stimulate milk production. You are not ‘taking their milk away’.
You might also be someone who always gets better results with just using hand expression so stick with that.
Of course, you might not want to pump at all and just focus on feeding baby more effectively and frequently.
Taking herbs and medication that increase milk supply. Not right for everyone but some women really feel they helped. You need to read about side effects and dosage on sites like kellymom.com. Fenugreek, blessed thistle and goat’s rue are popular. Some doctors prescribe domperidone in certain situations. These are never a substitute for good breast emptying and a breastfeeding MOT.
8. The science part.
In a book, this bit would be under a little flap as we’re only talking to a small group of people.
Did you have breast surgery?
Are your breasts very widely-spaced or asymmetrical, or very tubular with a bulging areola? Did they not really change much in pregnancy (or puberty)?
Do you have PCOS? Some women with PCOS (not all) have a reduced milk supply.
These are times when it’s worth finding an IBCLC and getting technical.
Some doctors will do hormonal testing for you. There are medications that can help develop breast tissue especially in pregnancy.
What about your thyroid levels? This is something relevant for more people than you might realise. If you are trying everything and low milk supply continues to be a problem, ask your doctor to check your thyroid levels. There are sometimes medical reasons mothers have a low milk supply and doctors and lactation consultants may be able to help you. These are not the most common reasons why people have low milk supply by a long shot. Hence the need for the flap.
Most people who genuinely have low milk supply got themselves into a pickle with using artificial nipples or not breastfeeding enough or breastfeeding ineffectively. And it can almost always be reversed.
Also remember that just because you had low milk supply in your first breastfeeding experience, it doesn’t mean a subsequent lactation will also be a struggle. The development of all that breast tissue first time round often helps.
Hold in your mind the fact that women can relactate after not breastfeeding at all for several weeks. We CAN send signals to increase supply again in the vast majority of cases. There are tons of us in real life and online who want to support you.
In Chinese Medicine, we understand that liver function controls the wei chi, the gates of the immune system at the skin level and expresses through the eyes. The physiology of the liver is monumental, controlling digestion, detoxification, storage and creation of essential vitamins and minerals, fats and blood products. Our livers filter the entire body's blood volume every 3 minutes and 1,450 milliliters of blood circulate through the liver every minute (1).
In our modern world of toxins from air (chemtrails, smog), soil, food (gmo's, pesticides, herbicides, antibiotics, other drugs), water (chlorine, fluoride, chemicals), vaccines, perfumes, dyes, heavy metals, radiation fall out, emf's, stress, hormone imbalances, alcohol and drug use and the list goes on, our liver burden is astronomical. To imagine we would not develop health symptoms from an overburdened liver is a pipe dream. When the liver is overwhelmed it starts to task other vital organs, like the kidneys. It is a master gland and when one gland is underfunctioning it pulls on the other glands of the system for support.
Liver imbalances can lead to eczema, psoriasis, all sorts of skin issues, hormone problems, digestive challenges, constipation, auto-immune diseases, poor sight, blood deficiencies, emotional/mood disturbances, and on and on.
So in assisting our liver to reduce it's work load, there are many things that you can do at home to assist:
I always inform my clients and customers that one simple thing we can do each morning is take a glass of pure water and squeeze into it one half of a fresh lemon and drink it, first thing. It tells the liver to prepare for a very strong meal so it makes a good amount of enzymes. When no food readily comes it uses those enzymes to clean up itself. It's like a mini detox. Nothing goes to waste with our elegant and brilliant body's.
One of my other most favourite liver and blood cleansers is coffee enemas. It's easy to do at home and has many benefits. Here is a list of awesomeness from some of the best coffee makers, Bulletproof Coffee:
-Clean and heal the colon…
-Detoxify the liver…
-Reduce many types of chronic pain…
-Help eliminate many parasites…
-Help with depression, confusion, and general tension…
-Increase mental clarity and energy levels, while reducing moodiness or anger…
-And much more…
Another wonderful liver detoxifying and tonifying method is the use of regular castor oil packs. About once a week or so (women, not on your moon time/menses) take some high quality organic castor oil, slather some over your liver (see image for location, right side of most people unless you have rare reverse organs) at the bottom of your rib cage, place a flannel cloth or old cotton cloth over top, place a hot water bottle over top of that and then wrap your abdomen in a big towel and lay down for 20 minutes with a book, meditation or a nap. 20 minutes is the perfect time to relieve liver congestion, over that time you are causing things to slow down again so it is not recommended (same with hot baths by the way, they are exhausting past 20 minutes). This is called the 'dry method' of castor oil use.
The wet method is stove top. Take castor oil in a pan with a piece of flannel and heat them together gently (on low), place over your abdomen and cover with a piece of plastic wrap, then a towel (to keep the heat in). I do not like using plastic at all so perhaps you could use a silicon mat or another substitution for this wet method approach. Same time frame.
When complete, for dry and wet methods, cleanse the skin with some baking soda and water or good glycerin soap and pat dry. The flannel can be stored in the fridge for up to a month for reuse. Be aware that castor oil stains cloths, so don't wear that nights ball gown whilst doing one.
As well as healing the gut (sealing leaky gut, proper stomach pH, etc), taking targeted supplements, eating the correct foods for liver health, which I am not getting into here (for the hugeness of the topic), hazelwood medical jewellery has shown to support the upregulation of liver function. By wearing the hazelwood (responsibly grown in Quebec, Canada) on your skin, there is an interaction with it and aside from the known analgesic and antioxidant benefits, it seems to lift much of the liver enzyme backlog, and we have seen rapid improvement of skin ailments like eczema, joint problems, pain syndroms and digestive complaints. I carry a whole range of hazelwood medical jewellery for all ages HERE.
I do accept clients for health consultations if you are in need of further direction and support. Please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org for more information.
Here's to superbly functioning livers!
Blessings in health,
Amandha Vollmer BSc., iND, Reiki Master
I am consistently having conversations with lactating mothers in the store. The common story often sounds like this, "I am not making enough milk." "My milk didn't come in so I had to use formula." "I had a hard time nursing." "I gave up, I was in too much pain." "The baby just stopped nursing suddenly." On and on like this.
Breastfeeding has so many benefits, it's a lot to list them all... here is a huge bunch of reasons: http://www.notmilk.com/101.html
New mothers need support so they can focus in the first few weeks of life with their new baby to master the art of breastfeeding. Almost every mother can breastfeed. The common story can, most often, be overcome. There are herbs, foods, homeopathics, balms, nursing holds, techniques, encouragement, etc., that can be essential to help a mother succeed.
It takes time for milk to arrive, sometimes more than a week! Figuring out latch takes time and patience. Stress should be managed. Proper nutrition is important for the mother. The foods mom eats can give digestion challenges to the infant (sulfur based foods for example) which turns the infant off of nursing. As well, there could be a physiological reason, such as tongue tie, preventing a good latch. There could also be unseen emotional energies blocking the mother, a mother or mother-in-law judging her or someone else working against her.
If formula must be used, the best I have come across is the following from the Weston-Price Foundation:
To help with latch, here are some
great resources from Dr. Jack Newman.
Lactogenic Foods and Herbs
Based on the Book
Mother Food: A Breastfeeding Diet Guide
By Hilary Jacobson CH.HU.SI.
Dietary Guidelines Following Birth:
Getting a good start the first few weeks after birth can be helpful in supporting the onset and development of a mother’s milk supply:
FOR FULL ARTICLE PLEASE CLICK HERE:
Yummy Mummy Emporium carries nursing teas, botanicals, homeopathics and other supplements to help support you through your nursing experience. To establish a healthy immune system it is ideal to nurse a child a minimum of 3 years! If you need any support, please contact me and I will do my best to offer resources and products to serve you and your family.
Here's to nature's bounty,
Yummy Mummy Emporium
Owner and Founder
Congratulations on choosing to cloth diaper your sweet little one. Not only does it save your pocket book and protect your infant, but it also protects our environment. On average parents spend $1500 per YEAR on disposable diapers! Compare that to anywhere from $300-$500 TOTAL for cloth, it just becomes a no-brainer to cloth diaper.
The sheer number of diapers being bought, used, and disposed of in our trash are truly mind-boggling. Industry statistics indicate that as many as 18 billion disposable diapers are used in the U.S. per year (and this is based on 1988 stats) --the end products of a market valued at more than $3 billion. Chalk up more than half of that to Proctor & Gamble, maker of Pampers and Luvs; 30% to Kimberly-Clark's Huggies; and the rest to various generic or "house" brands. Those numbers add up. In the midst of a baby boomers' baby boom, 98 percent of all households using diapers use some disposables. And, as many parents know, a child can run through 8,000 to 10,000 diapers before becoming fully toilet trained. That's a lot of waste!
Did you know it takes on average 500 years for disposable diapers to break down in a landfill?!?!?! Mind boggling isn't it?
A little while ago I blogged about the diapering issue (see "How to Take a Dump" http://alchemyofmothering.blogspot.ca/2012/07/how-to-take-dump.html) having been stunned by visit the dump and seeing what a mess we are making of our world. Mind not the nay-sayers who argue that washing a few extra loads of laundry is just as bad as plasticking your child's rear end 10-15 times a day with toxic chemicals. It adds up in savings for both your pocketbook, the health of your baby, and the planet.
Disposable diapers are laden with hormone modulating and cancer causing chemicals! Many have not been properly studied and, as your baby will be wearing diapers for at least 2 years (and sometimes up to age 5!), this can lead to a lot of toxic build up.
Here is a list of some of these chemicals used in conventional disposable diapers:
If you find this unacceptable for your child, as I did, you will want to now research cloth diapers and how to use them. I tried many kinds of cloth diapers myself and found the best price and ease of use to be the snap, pocket, microfiber diapers. I also liked to use pure cotton diapers for over night with a cover or to use highly absorbent bamboo liners for overnight in my pocket diapers. At $10-$13 per diaper, this was the best price for our family.
If you have chosen to use microfiber cloth diapers here is how to use them: all you need to do to prepare (prep) your diapers is wash them once (hot with detergent (NOT SOAP), double rinse) than put them in the dryer (med-hot for 20-30) to seal the PUL layer. Then they are ready to use.
For future washes please follow manufacturers instructions. No bleach, wash in cold/cool or warm. If you want to wash the microfiber inserts occasionally in hot, just separate them from the outer shells. This will preserve the PUL layer and give a longer life to the diaper so you can pass them on to another mother or use for another child. DO NOT boil microfiber, you will damage them, possibly permanently. I do know mothers who were not so delicate with their diapers and did not have an issue. So if you go 'off book' and wash and dry on hot all the time, I am sure things will work out just fine. You just may not get a second child's wear out of them.
If you have hard water this will affect the absorbency of your diapers so you may need to look at water softeners. Using a few tablespoons of borax can help with this. Don't use vinegar if you have hard water, it will make the ammonia stay in the diapers and can cause ammonia burn on your baby. If you do get ammonia build up on your diapers, soak them in a bathtub of water and a cup of baking soda. It will neutralize them nicely.
In the rinse, it helps to use some baking soda to reduce smell and cut oils. You can also use a few drops of essential oils to reduce bacteria and hence, odour. If you can, sun your diapers to naturally bleach them and add some extra disinfectant from the UV rays.
Be careful with certain rash creams as they can build up on your diapers and affect their ability to absorb. If you find they are leaking at all then it may be time to strip them. Yummy Mummy Emporium sells all-natural diaper creams that are safe to use on your cloth. Even so, it is best to use a viscose liner or a cut up piece of flannel when using any creams...it just makes life easier.
If you ever start to notice some leaking or stinking (like garbage) then it's time to strip your diapers. You can simply wash with detergent twice in a row and then a third time with just some borax, baking soda or a product called RLR. Alternatively you can soak in RLR overnight and then wash normally. Then sun them or put the inserts in the dryer and the outer shell on the line or else in the dryer on a cooler setting. You can also soak them overnight in baking soda and water and then wash them twice through their cycle.
Certain detergents can build up on cloth, so you may need to experiment with the right detergent for you. Never use detergent with whiteners in them and the more natural and unscented, the better. Why add extra toxins to your diapers when you are trying to avoid them in disposables?! More on detergents later...
Your diapers should NOT leak, that is not normal. It is an indication that the PUL is damaged or they are not being cleaned properly (or they are not being fit properly on your baby). You may need to change your detergent or washing style (or play with the snap level) to get it right.
Do not fret, once you figure out your diapering 'system', it becomes easy and second nature. When you have this rhythm, you can enjoy cloth diapering even more. It is really no more work than taking out the garbage. Plus it is fun to create outfits and play with colour.
For breast fed stools, no pre-rinsing is necessary, they can go straight in the bin. In an older child eating solid foods, if you wish to prevent staining, then dump the solids into the toilet (I use a dedicated spoon to do this if it's hard to remove) then rinse in the shower/bathtub if you have a handheld shower head or else you can invest in a diaper sprayer or use the sink. Then squeeze out the water and place in your diaper pail until wash day. If there are any stains, again, the sun is your bleaching agent.
It is rare, but sometimes defects occur on your diaper so if you find something is not working properly do let me know and the manufacturer may replace it (for example if stitching fails or a fastener breaks).
If you are practicing elimination communication or during toilet learning, place a natural bamboo insert or microfiber insert not in the pocket, but sitting on top of the microfleece layer. This is ONLY recommended for short term use, they should not sit on soiled microfiber for any length of time. Bamboo is a little more tolerated. Your child will feel that he or she is wet and either let you know or cry, showing slight discomfort. Then you can take them immediately to the toilet and the diaper is very simple to be removed (especially if you use the system of legwarmers and a cloth diaper as there are no pants to remove).
Regardless, infants who wear cloth diapers generally potty learn faster than their disposable wearing counter parts. Another bonus to cloth diapering! They feel the sensation of urination and associate the act with it. Disposables wick away the urine too quickly, so they usually don't even notice they are urinating!
A wet/dry bag is essential for traveling with your cloth diapers. Consider purchasing one with your diaper set. Your wet diaper goes in the top pouch while wipes and creams can go in the front pouch for easy access. Plus they make excellent bags for going swimming or camping to keep items dry and the child can use this when he or she is older.
The amount of diapers you will need depends on your budget and how often you wish to do laundry and of course how many children you have currently in diapers. I recommend someone on a tight budget to start at 12-14 but ideally 25-30 diapers is a nice range and means you are doing laundry every 3 days (average 10 diapers per day). You can then have a few in the car and in other places so you can easily grab one when needed. This also prevents having to do laundry daily.
Plus, with these diapers you have lovely styles and textures to choose from. Cloth diapering can be fun and stylish! Why not!? Colour matters, as it is a vibration, some days red is the colour and some days it's green! :)
Now for night wear. I recommend either purchasing some bamboo liners or bamboo charcoal liners (that MUST be prepped separate to your synthetic diapers or it will coat them with oils making them lose absorbency) or else doubling up the microfiber. I found if I didn't and I missed my little girl's first morning elimination she would leak a little at the leg. My girl nursed a lot in the night so there was a lot of urine, but still as they grow their pee's grow too!
To prepare your bamboo liners, boil in a large pot on the stove for 10 minutes, then let cool, rinse and wash in your washing machine normally, with detergent. The next few washes it is recommended (but not absolutely necessary) to wash these inserts separately because IF there is any bamboo oil present, it will affect your diapers negatively, albeit temporarily (but it is a hassle to have to strip when it could have been avoided).
Now back to detergents: again, please consider using natural detergents that are scent-free as it is best for baby and the planet (and your diapers). Rockin' Green detergents are made specifically for washing cloth diapers that can be ordered online or else I have had success with a product called Blue Planet from Canadian Tire. Nellie's All Natural Detergent is another great product that is safe for your cloth diapers and also HE safe for front loading washing machines. Do let Yummy Mummy Emporium know if you have found another all-natural detergent that works great on your cloth diapers. We would love to know and help other moms with this information!
Top loading washers work best for cloth diapers as the more water than goes through them the better, however there are tips and tricks for washing cloth diapers in front loaders, like wetting a towel and adding it in, or filling your wet/dry bag with water and tossing it in. Otherwise a trip to the local laundry mat every so often may be necessary.
For the pocket diapers, there are three sets of snaps on each diaper. A set that lengthens them, a set that fastens at the hip area and a set that fastens at the waist section. Play with the sizing to get the right fit. If you are getting leaks on a fresh diaper you may have to adjust the diaper snaps.
Enjoy your cloth diapering adventure and if you have any questions please ask me and I shall do my best to assist you. The style of cloth I currently carry are pocket cloth diapers and a few unique handmade cotton diapers. If there is a pattern you are looking for, please ask and I will search the shelves for you and ship them out to you! (Feel free to shop for cloth diapers HERE.)
Love and health,
Yummy Mummy Emporium
168 Bobcaygeon Road, Minden, Ontario, K0M 2K0
705-286-0001 - www.yummymummyemporium.org
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I remember when my girlfriend gifted me with my first pair of baby leg warmers. I looked at them curiously and thought "is this for when my baby does yoga?' and had a chuckle and put them away.
The house I birthed my baby in had an old hardwood floor that was drafty. As she was born in November, we had quite a winter to get through. I thought about the baby leg warmers often when changing her, those cute little kicking legs, all open to the air like that bothered me, especially as a new mom, trying to do everything 'right' and being as diligent as I could.
So I dug out the cream coloured leg warmers and put them on her. I oo'ed and ahh'd for a bit at their adorableness and then continued to breastfeed her. For the next diaper change I found myself pleased. I could access the diaper easily and her wee legs were still all cozy.
Naturally, I needed more! After all, that one pair needed to be washed. So I hunted around for a while for a good price, irked at the $15-$20 price tag on most I found. Since by that point I was pretty much a single mom, I couldn't afford to buy any. So I waited.
The spring came and I found myself at a friends family weekend camping extravaganza and a wonderful woman had brought a bunch she was selling for $5 a piece! Yoink!
By this time I was full well into cloth diapering my child. I had figured everything out and had my nice routine going, easy peasy. Then I had a eureka moment. Wait! You mean I can make outfits with a leg warmer and a cloth diaper? I can still show off that cute cloth too? The designer in me reveled!
I had just started Yummy Mummy Emporium as a business since I needed an income to support my child and myself. I was primarily supplying cloth diapers, wet/dry bags and amber teething necklaces, trying to share information and help other young moms with natural health information (my training is in naturopathic medicine) and on how to save money. When this woman at my friend's place suggested to me that leg warmers could be a great adjunct to my business, I agreed whole heartedly. She was kind enough to connect me to all the right people.
Suddenly, I had plenty of leg warmers to play with. I matched outfits with leg warmers and diapers and head gear, like bows, bands and clippies. There seemed to be an interesting psychological effect happening...despite my stresses, I felt like a good and caring mom. And that got me through the tired days, the stressful days, the broke days, and the depressed days.
My girl always had a pair of leg warmers on her. By studying her in them, watching her play, fall, and climb I started to gain new insight on the fringe benefits of these little tubes of cloth.
Easy Access: Leg warmers made my 10 - 13 daily cloth diaper changes a breeze. One diaper off, wipe, one diaper on. Done.
No Wicking: Pants are over rated. Uncomfortable around the waist and sometimes causing wicking from the diaper, changing pants on a wriggly baby or toddler all the time was not my favourite. I had a girl, so tossing a skirt over top was easy to do or a simple pair of shorts worked if it was cooler. But pants? Blah! Do you have any idea how fast these creatures' legs grow?? Fast!
Bridge the Gap: I get lots of customers in my store carrying their children and I always see a sock, a gap and up there...the pants. Leg warmers solve the gap. Or on an older child who is out growing his pants or his sweater or coat, leg warmers make the leap on the arm toward the wrist. Why spend $40 on a new coat when you can spend $8 on arm warmers for that last stretch before the spring? Extra clothing mileage saves you money...leg warmers are versatile and handy for your pocketbook too.
Bugs! In cottage country we have bugs. That young flesh is a tasty treat for a mosquito or worst, a deer fly or horse fly. Good luck getting through a leg warmer suckers!
Extra Warmth: It's a cold, wintery day and my girl wants to go outside to play or she is heading to daycare, a pair of leg warmers, then her pants over top, is extra protection from cold weather and falls on the ice. Aren't you a smart parent!?
UV Protection: Having fun at the beach? Despite the sunscreen use, you feel it's time to get the sun off those legs so you grab a pair and on they go. Now your child can play in the sand a little longer and your worry of a burn or excessive skin damage is gone.
Protection from Falls: I remember the one and only day I forgot the leg warmers and it's a lesson I won't soon forget. My daughter last summer, toddler, wanted to walk to the park. She had on her skirt and her fun shoes and well, mommy was thinking water, cell phone, money, hats, sunglasses and half way there...the leg warmers. Uh oh. "Oh well, we'll be okay", I thought. So we are walking on the side walk and my girl sees a puddle and takes off for it. A split second later she has tripped and lands on her knees... they are all scraped up, bleeding and our outing, ruined. In my mind I kept repeating "why did you forget the legwarmers, WHY???" If she had them on, she would gave cried a little and then we could have continued on. Instead, I had her fighting me not to touch the owies, a long discussion about bandaids, extensive crying and consoling and a massive boo-boo focus that was mentioned for DAYS. Not particularly fun. Prevention is cure.
Nice Legs! Kids are always getting banged up from their practices at walking and learning about life. A child's legs free of bruises can exist because the material from the leg warmer cushions the blow.
Patella Cushioning: Beyond the skin, we have developing structure. The patella is a delicate area with lots of nerve, tendon and ligament connections and when your baby is learning to crawl leg warmers protect this important area.
Great for Potty Training: To have on a pull up trainer and a pair of leg warmers during potty learning makes everything a breeze. They feel confident of their skills to get the job done. Win-win!
Popular! People, friends and family always commented on my daughter's adorable leg warmers. Comments like "how unique!" "that's fun!" or "can I get a pair like that?" It took focus away from the usual discussions and seemed to be a good 'ice breaker'. I actually began to carry some with me as people wanted to buy them right on the spot! Especially if I went to a park, I would bring some. Always a mom there worried about her child skinning his knees.
Choice for Children: "What leg warmers do you want to wear today love?" "The blue ones!" Children love to feel empowered to make decisions for themselves at (to me) a surprisingly young age. So to be able to give your child options when getting dressed is a great way to do this.
Long Lasting: I have a basket full of leg warmers, naturally, and they have lasted well for years. They wash easily and stains come out. They also stay useful as your child grows! The same leg warmers I had for my daughter when she was 6 months still fit her now at age 3 and as she grows they will just grow down the leg until they protect her shin only. They will fit her until she is around 10-12 years of age. Now THAT'S good value.
Events: I admit it, using leg warmers can be slightly addictive. Like many mothers who cloth diaper, leg warmers too can be an addiction, mainly because outfit planning is fun. It is also fun to plan the photo session outfits and dress them up for Halloween, Valentine's Day, Christmas, Canada Day, etc... I mean c'mon! What a legacy! Don't worry, it's a healthy addiction.
When people come into my store they see many styles of leg warmers to choose from, for both boys and girls (the boys love them too and they do NOT look silly at all). I am constantly having to update my website with styles, quite a task as a single mompreneur with a toddler! So if you are looking for any specific colours and styles, just email me and I may just have what you are looking for. Of course I ship anywhere...and they are simple to send...
Thank you for reading and supporting Yummy Mummy Emporium!
Curious? SHOP HERE for leg warmers!
Yummy Mummy Emporium is a unique store, located in Minden Ontario Canada.
Trained as a naturopathic doctor and reiki master, I am a mother of a holistically reared 3 year old, enjoying creativity in all it's forms. I love to wildcraft botanicals and blend health enhancing tisanes. I make alchemy in the kitchen with my skin care line, for healing of eczema, dry skin and rashes. I enjoy making ribbon wands for children to run and play with. My room scents are created to purify, shift energy and invoke joy. I teach parents how to use cloth diapers, why leg warmers are smart and practical for children and how to use medical jewelery instead of drugs for pain and inflammation.
We all have a unique, individual expression to bloom and this is my way of being in alignment with Source and Mother Earth, to walk my path, and share with you all these gifts and blessings. Thank you for supporting small business and holistic thinking.
Shop online www.YummyMummyEmporium.org
Unfortunately, as with many things natural, they are often untested. As a result we can have a difficult time knowing dosages, limits and individual applications. Therefore, we see varying results. Some mothers say their Baltic amber jewellery works incredibly on their child for teething and other pain relief and others say it does nothing.
As a reseller of both genuine Baltic amber and Quebec hazelwood medical jewellery I have gathered quite a bit of data from my customers and also from the use on my own child. I have also witnessed how it works differently on adults. Here are some deductions on why we can see some variation and how to get amber working for your family.
Skin Type: First of all, there seems to be about 10 to 20 percent of people with a skin type that Baltic amber interacts only mildly with. So if you have that skin type or your child does, you will not notice any significant reduction of pain, drooling, chewing and calming that many of us have experienced with Baltic amber. If you are unsure if that is you, read on. Perhaps you just need to prepare the skin to receive the amber's benefits...
Skin Receptivity: Is your child's skin in the area of the amber cleaned properly to receive amber's benefits? It's a good idea to polish the amber with olive oil and then prepare the child's skin with a baking soda wash or by using apple cider vinegar (a mild acid or base will work), then apply some coconut oil and take a warm, damp cloth and gently massage around the skin. You will be surprised how much dirt and dead skin cells come off, even directly out of the bath. A build up of soaps and other residues can leave pores unable to allow in the natural oils from the amber. Make sure the amber is cleaned and polished regularly.
Amber Dose: There seems to be a specific amount of amber worn that works best to relieve teething symptoms. With my own child, a necklace alone wasn't quite enough. Once I added two anklets with the necklace, I had a happy child on my hands. When I removed all the amber, all her symptoms returned within 10 minutes. To test further, I put two necklaces on. She began to act annoyed and irritated until I removed this second necklace. So this told me there can also be too high of a 'dose'.
Amber Timing: The best time to start a child (or test a child) with genuine baltic amber is around age 3 months or at the first signs of chewing, drooling and other teething signs (fever, crying, agitation). Some parents find that when they use amber later on, the drool amount will not lessen very much and also the fussing has become a bit of a habit. So catching things before they set up too strongly also seems to be an important factor.
Amber Type: There has been a lot of speculation about colour, shape and finish of the amber and it's abilities. Colour seems to be irrelevant. It is a myth that lighter coloured amber works better. Raw amber seems to offer about 1 to 2 percent greater interaction with the skin compared to the polished. Flat or bean shaped beads compared with baroque or round shaped beads lends a larger surface area available to the skin, so can offer a little more assistance. Avoid amber chips as these can indent the childs' skin and have the least amount of surface content. Consider these factors when choosing amber for your child.
Amber for Adults: The metabolism of an adult versus a child differs greatly. For adults I find when they purchase an adult necklace from me (or add two child/baby necklaces together) feel tired when they wear amber during the day. It seems to be best for an adult to wear amber when sleeping only, in fact it can assist as a sleep aid, and not to wear it throughout the day. It may be creating a slight healing crisis or is too calming on the adult metabolism or gland network.
Amber Chemistry: Amber will absorb energy over time and be altered based on the chemistry of the skin it is interacting with. Therefore it is best not to buy used amber or transfer jewellery between different people or children. Some energy can be cleared by exposing amber to sunlight, similar to how one would cleanse gemstones, however amber is more resinous than many gemstones and therefore difficult to reset back to it's original, unworn chemistry.
Tooth Cutting: I found Baltic amber worked the best to alleviating pain and discomfort for movement underneath the gums: all that growing, pushing and inflammation (pre-dentition). When my child was actually cutting a tooth through the gum line I noticed her pain increasing so I would give her homeopathic chamomilla or aconitum or Hyland's Teething Tablets. Together with the amber, the homeopathic boost worked amazingly well and she went back to her playing. So amber can work in synergy with other natural products.
At Night or Daytime Only? I never removed amber from my child once it was on. I co-slept with my child so I watched her sleeping behaviour closely. Never once did her necklace or anklet cut off circulation or twist or cause any problem. A few times we lost an anklet, once on a hike (rodents love to eat amber by the way. A squirrel ran away with her first anklet!) and another time at the beach. Removing socks seems to be the culprit to watch for as they can roll off. People seem to have all these choking fears around a child wearing an amber necklace. However, this style of necklace is designed specifically for babies. If you are losing sleep over it, then take it off. I do not recommend putting a necklace around the ankle because THAT can tighten in an unbalanced way and cause an issue, much more of an issue than keeping it on the neck!
Applying The Amber: When you first put amber on a baby, make sure to distract them as you tuck it under their clothes. Double check that you have tightened the clasp well, sometimes it loosens off a little the first day or so. Once you re-tighten, it stays on well. As it warms to their skin, it is so light, they will forget all about it. If they notice it, just distract them again with something else. It soon becomes just an extension of them and they leave it be. Amber is NOT for chewing! It stays out of their mouth. Got it?
Amber with Hazelwood: For those 10 to 20 percent skin types, consider using hazelwood instead. The jewellery will wear out over time and need to be replaced, however there is a known analgesic in these beads, so pain killing properties are present. As well, hazelwood can be worn alongside baltic amber to help with not only teething pain, but digestive and bowel issues, skin rashes and growing pains. To get the most out of our hazelwood, I would put in on my child during the day if I felt she needed it and most of the time, remove it at bedtime. The benefits of hazelwood not only give pain relief but can balance out the liver enzyme system thus assisting with an over burdened liver. When the liver works better, so does the skin, bowels and digestion as a whole.
Losing Beads: Amber beads are handcrafted and fairly strong, however with wear, the chemical milieu will change and some beads can break off. This can be expected but doesn't always happen. If your child eats a piece, not to worry, it will slightly digest and be safely moved out through the bowels.
Make Sure It's Genuine! Your amber will not work if it's made from copal because it's not amber!! Here are three ways to test if you have the genuine or the fake amber:
The Rubbing Test: Take a soft cloth and rub it a lot – if it’s true amber it will become electrostatically charged enough to pick up small pieces of paper. Copal will not take on an electrostatic charge and may become sticky. (source)
The Alcohol Test: Both copal and plastic will deteriorate when they come into contact with a solvent. (source) “Plastics are quickly attacked by alcohol (95% ethyl alcohol), acetone (100%), and ether. A few drops of acetone ( non-natural fingernail polish remover) or alcohol dripped over the surface of the piece will reveal if it holds up to the solvent. If the surface becomes tacky, it’s not amber. Amber will not feel tacky or dissolve under these solvents.” (source)
The Saltwater Test Amber is a resin which is very light so it will float in salt water. To test your necklace, mix together a solution of 1 part salt to 2 parts warm water. (You could use 1/3 cup salt to 2/3 cup water.) Dissolve the salt completely and drop your necklace in the mixture. Any plastic or glass will sink, true Baltic amber and some types of copal will float. If you’re not sure whether your necklace is amber or copal, try the rubbing test.
So please consider these factors when thinking about genuine Baltic amber and how to use it for your family. Yummy Mummy Emporium sells only the highest quality Genuine Baltic Amber from Lithuania, strung by hand. Each bead is individually knotted and comes with a safety clasp so that the jewellery breaks away under strain. If you have any questions or feedback about using amber or hazelwood, feel free to ask!
Well, I have done it. I have faced my own fears of making a YouTube video and here it is. Fever is a 'hot' topic right now so I wanted to address it with some understanding of what fever is, why it is not a scary thing and how to support it and not suppress it. I hope this helps you through cold and flu season and gives you some ideas on how to manage a fever in your own child. Enjoy!
Amandha D. Vollmer,
Owner Operator of Yummy Mummy Emporium and Holistic Practitioner.
1. Play (and work) with them often.
This is the best way to teach children cooperation and self-restraint. The best way to help children learn to cooperate, when there is work that needs to be done, is to work with them.
Every moment of interactive play with an admired adult offers an opportunity for children to learn rules and limits. In the course of this play (and work), children come to understand that rules are necessary -- for safety and for living with others. To the dismay of many well-intentioned parents, most children do not learn good behavior from repeated talks or lectures.
A generation ago, developmental psychologists Eleanor Maccoby and Mary Parpal instructed parents to play each night with their children in whatever way their child wanted to play. Just two weeks later, these children more readily cooperated when asked to clean up their toys.
Since then, the importance of interactive play has been repeatedly demonstrated -- in clinical interventions for oppositional and defiant children, in preschool and kindergarten educational programs and in neuroscience research. I will discuss this research in more detail in future posts.
2. Express enthusiastic interest in your child's interests, even if these are not the interests you would choose.
Enthusiastic interest in our children's interests is a first principle of strengthening parent-child relationships -- and of fostering cooperative behavior. At the risk of being somewhat crass, we can think of enthusiastic interest as the deposit that we draw on when it is time to set limits. (Or, as the behavioral psychologist Alan Kazdin points out, the effectiveness of our time-outs depends largely on the quality of our time-ins.)
3. Repair moments of anger and misunderstanding.
When feelings of anger and unfairness linger, children are far more likely to become irritable, uncooperative and disrespectful. We should therefore set aside some time, every day, to repair angry interactions.
4. Engage them in problem solving.
Most common behavior problems are best solved proactively. Place the problem before your child and ask for her ideas. (For example, "We seem to have a problem every morning, when it's time to get ready for school. What do you think we can do about this?") Then, together, develop a plan. When we enlist children in solving problems, we have changed the channel. Instead of thinking about how they can get what they want, they begin to think, even if just for that moment, about how to solve a problem.
5. Teach them a language of emotion regulation and emotional intelligence.
Children behave well when they have learned to handle (or, as we now say, "regulate") the anxieties, frustrations and disappointments of everyday life -- when they come to learn that disappointments are disappointments, not catastrophes. They develop this ability through emotional dialogue.
Acknowledge their disappointments and frustrations. Talk with them about your own frustrations and disappointments -- and how you coped with them.
6. Teach them to wait.
Pamela Druckerman, in her entertaining account of parenting in contemporary Paris, observed that French parents, from a very early age, do not immediately meet a child's demands. Instead, they stress the importance of teaching children to wait. And, unlike American children, French kids don't throw food.
7. Offer encouragement, not criticism.
When you need to criticize, criticize thoughtfully and gently. Persistent criticism breeds resentment and defiance, which then undermine a child's initiative and sense of responsibility.
If we are frequently angry and critical, our children will not be well behaved, no matter how much discipline we provide.
8. When you have to say "No," say "No" calmly. Then, insist that they speak to you calmly.
Our mantra should be, "Johnny, when you're calm, we can talk about this."
9. Begin your sentences with "When..." or "As soon as...."
Too often, we begin our sentences, "If you don't...." This simple change of tone and grammar often makes a dramatic difference in the cooperativeness of young children.
Compromise is not giving in. When we compromise with children, we teach them to compromise -- to think about how their needs and the needs of others can be reconciled. Is there a more important lesson for children to learn, for all their future relationships?
11. Give them responsibilities.
Across cultures, children who are given responsibilities (for example, when they have chores or teach younger children) show more helpfulness and caring behavior toward others.
As a side benefit, they also begin to experience our point of view. They learn, firsthand, how annoying it is when you are trying to get things done and someone doesn't listen.
12. Teach them the importance of other people's feelings.
Respect for the needs and feelings of others is the foundation of moral behavior.
In a series of important studies, psychologist Ross Thompson and his colleagues found that the mothers of children with strong moral development spoke to their children in an emotion-rich language and made frequent references, not to rules and consequences, but to other people's feelings.
13. Let them know when their behavior is over the line.
Then, take a brief time-out. But it is really a time-out, with an opportunity to start over, to try again, to do better the next time.
14. Let them know that you are proud of them.
Especially for the good things they do for others.
15. Take time to listen.
Hear their side of the story. Tell them what is right about what they are saying or doing before you tell them what they are doing wrong.
When children feel that their concerns and grievances have been listened to and understood, they will make fewer, not more, demands. And we will have an easier time when it is time to say no.
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(HealthDay)—Two new studies further confirm the health benefits of breast-feeding.
One suggests that 6-year-olds who were breast-fed have a lower risk of ear, throat and sinus infections compared to bottle-fed infants, while the other finds a similar trend when it comes to allergies.
The research upholds the "many benefits of breast-feeding in the immediate newborn period," said Dr. Jennifer Wu, an obstetrician-gynecologist at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City. She was not involved in the new studies.
The studies were published online Sept. 1 in the journal Pediatrics.
Current recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics urge women to breast-feed baby exclusively for the first six months of life, and then combine breast milk and other foods until at least 12 months.
The two studies sought to determine if breast-feeding's health benefits lingered long after solid foods were introduced.
In one study, a group led by Dr. Ruowei Li, of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, looked at data on medical office visits for nearly 1,300 6-year-olds.
Compared to children who hadn't been breast-fed for an extended time, children who had been breast-fed for nine or more months had lower odds of contracting an infection of the ear, throat or sinus, the team said.
For example, the breast-fed children had 31 percent lower odds of developing an ear infection over the past year, 32 percent lower odds for a throat infection and 53 percent lower likelihood for a sinus infection, the CDC team found.
Wu also noted that, "there was a decrease in infections if the mothers had breast-fed and there was a greater decrease depending on the amount of breast-feeding."
Why the effect? Li's team noted that "human milk is the best source of nutrition for most newborns and infants. In addition, human milk provides immunologic protection against many infections during infancy."
The new study now suggests that, "breast-feeding may protect against ear, throat and sinus infections well beyond infancy," the researchers added.
In the second study, a team led by Dr. Stefano Luccioli, of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration's Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition, looked at the rate of "probable food allergies" in 6-year-olds.
They found that children who had been exclusively breast-fed for four months or more had about half the odds of developing a food allergy compared to children who had been breast-fed for a lesser amount of time.
As Wu noted, the finding did have one limitation, however. "While breast-feeding did not decrease food allergies in high-risk populations, such as families who already have a history of food allergy, there was a decrease in low-risk populations," she said.
Another expert said the studies provide valuable information.
Nina Eng, chief clinical dietitian at Plainview Hospital in Plainview, N.Y., said the findings "point out two of the many important benefits of breast-feeding."
"These articles provide evidence that should inspire new moms to breast-feed their children," she said.
Check out this amazing little idea to teach a child about anatomy using felt!
"To make the body double, I had S lay on a few yards of felt and I traced her and cut the resulting outline out with some nice sharp scissors. Using an anatomy book, she chose which parts of her body she wanted me to make. I eyeballed the size and shape of everything; since she is 4 I wasn’t too concerned with making everything super accurate – the general idea was fine. As we created the different parts from felt, we’d talk about the role of each in her body. As we created the digestive tract, for instance, we talked about the path food takes through her body. When we created bones, I would have her press on various parts of her body to feel a bit of the bone underneath and inhale sharply to see the outline of her rib cage beneath her skin."
View the entire post and pictures here:
Dateline TV Producer Tested for Chemicals - BPA, Triclosan and Phthalates. The Products We Use, Matter.
I post this not to entice you into the fear, doubt and confusion of big media but to help you learn about some of the reasons to avoid plastics and chemicals in your daily lifestyle and how much this could assist you and your family toward better health. ~Amandha Vollmer
By Mae Wu
Did you catch the Dateline episode yesterday? It was a great report. The producer Andrea Canning wanted to see how her daily behavior could affect the levels of bisphenol A (BPA), phthalates and triclosan in her urine.
First, she found her baseline numbers, which were around the national average. Then she tried to eliminate these chemicals from her daily use—ate fresh fruits and veggies, used unscented cosmetics, avoided antibacterial soap and avoided plastic with the #7 recycling symbol. When she was tested again, her levels fell to almost zero. The next day, she tried to boost her numbers again by doing normal everyday things—microwaved her oatmeal in a plastic cup, had canned soup and vegetables for lunch and dinner, put on make-up with fragrance, drank a V-8 and a diet Coke in a can, washed her hands with Dial soap and brushed her teeth with Colgate Total. The result? Her numbers spiked.
She also tested levels in her kids. Her six month old baby had levels of triclosan that were 10 times higher than the national average; her toddler had levels of triclosan that were 100 times higher than the national average. Presumably her baby isn’t washing her hands with antibacterial soap or brushing her teeth with Colgate Total. When I asked Andrea Canning (via twitter) where she thought the high levels of triclosan came from, she didn’t know.
Triclosan is a stupid use of a toxic chemical. As my colleagues Gina Solomon and I and have blogged before, antibacterial soap containing triclosan is neither safe nor effective. (Read our factsheet and other materials).
But here’s a little good news on triclosan. Last week, we got an important win in court on our lawsuit against Food and Drug Administration (FDA) on triclosan. As my colleague Sarah Janssen explained, in 1978, the FDA proposed a rule that would have prohibited triclosan (and other chemicals) from being used in hand soaps because it was not shown to be safe or effective. But companies were allowed to keep selling soap containing triclosan until the rule was finalized.
Fast forward 35 years: FDA still has not finalized the rule, and the antibacterial soap industry has exploded. The Natural Resources Defense Council (NRDC) sued FDA for its failure to protect the public health. The District Court in the Southern District of New York found that NRDC members who were exposed to triclosan soap at work could simply avoid triclosan by carrying soap in their pockets and dismissed the case. Fortunately, this week, the Second Circuit Court of Appeals disagreed with the district court. This means that our case gets to continue and we may just finally get a final rule by the FDA.
The news on BPA isn’t as good. Check out the science on BPA. We are all eating it when we eat or drink anything that comes out of a can. People are also likely being exposed from thermal paper receipts which are coated with BPA. The FDA did ban the use of BPA in baby bottles and sippy cups, but that was at the behest of the chemical industry. Tellingly, it only took FDA nine months to agree to industry’s request. But public interest groups ask the FDA to take steps to protect public health, the only response is silence.
In the meantime, in response to public’s demands, more and more manufacturers are moving away from BPA. Unfortunately, “BPA-free” doesn’t necessarily mean safe. One of the most common replacements is BPS—a chemical cousin to BPA which is also estrogenic. This just highlights the fact that the FDA is failing to identify and regulate sources of exposure to chemicals which have been identified as being harmful to human health.
And finally, phthalates: a new study finding phthalates in our food shows that even when you do the “right” thing, it is exceeding difficult to eliminate phthalate exposure.
Hopefully, with last night’s coverage on Dateline, more people will be wary of all the chemicals we are being exposed to through our common everyday products. And they will see that the federal agency whose mission is to protect public health has done nothing to step in and help us. Check out our Fix FDA page.
WATCH THE VIDEO HERE: http://ecowatch.com/2013/03/25/dateline-tv-producer-tested-for-chemicals/
Visit EcoWatch’s FOOD and BIODIVERSITY page for more related news on this topic.
Yummy Mummy Emporium Blog brings you great articles and information to make healthy decisions for your family.
by Zoltan P. Rona M.D., MSc
The leaky gut syndrome is the name given to a very common health disorder in which the basic organic defect (lesion) is an intestinal lining which is more permeable (porous) than normal. The abnormally large spaces present between the cells of the gut wall allow the entry of toxic material into the bloodstream that would, in healthier circumstances, be repelled and eliminated.
The gut becomes leaky in the sense that bacteria, fungi, parasites and their toxins, undigested protein, fat and waste normally not absorbed into the bloodstream in the healthy state, pass through a damaged, hyperpermeable, porous or “leaky” gut. This can be verified by special gut permeability urine tests, microscopic examination of the lining of the intestinal wall as well as the bloodstream with phase contrast or darkfield microscopy of living whole blood.
Why is The Leaky Gut Syndrome Important? The leaky gut syndrome is almost always associated with autoimmune disease and reversing autoimmune disease depends on healing the lining of the gastrointestinal tract. Any other treatment is just symptom suppression. An autoimmune disease is defined as one in which the immune system makes antibodies against its own tissues. Diseases in this category include lupus, alopecia areata, rheumatoid arthritis, polymyalgia rheumatica, multiple sclerosis, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, Sjogren’s syndrome, vitiligo, thyroiditis, vasculitis, Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis, urticaria (hives), diabetes and Raynaud’s disease. Physicians are increasingly recognizing the importance of the gastrointestinal tract in the development of allergic or autoimmune disease. Understanding the leaky gut phenomenon not only helps us see why allergies and autoimmune diseases develop but also helps us with safe and effective therapies to bring the body back into balance.
Due to the enlarged spaces between the cells of the gut wall, larger than usual protein molecules are absorbed before they have a chance to be completely broken down as occurs when the intestinal lining is intact. The immune system starts making antibodies against these larger molecules because it recognizes them as foreign, invading substances. The immune system starts treating them as if they had to be destroyed. Antibodies are made against these proteins derived from previously harmless foods.
Human tissues have antigenic sites very similar to those on foods, bacteria, parasites, candida or fungi. The antibodies created by the leaky gut phenomenon against these antigens can get into various tissues and trigger an inflammatory reaction when the corresponding food is consumed or the microbe is encountered. Autoantibodies are thus created and inflammation becomes chronic. If this inflammation occurs in a joint, autoimmune arthritis (rheumatoid arthritis) develops. If it occurs in the brain, myalgic encephalomyelitis (a.k.a. chronic fatigue syndrome) may be the result. If it occurs in the blood vessels, vasculitis (inflammation of the blood vessels) is the resulting autoimmune problem.
If the antibodies end up attacking the lining of the gut itself, the result may be colitis or Crohn’s disease. If it occurs in the lungs, asthma is triggered on a delayed basis every time the individual consumes the food which triggered the production of the antibodies in the first place. It is easy to see that practically any organ or body tissue can become affected by food allergies created by the leaky gut. Symptoms, especially those seen in conditions such as chronic fatigue syndrome, can be multiple and severely debilitating.
The inflammation that causes the leaky gut syndrome also damages the protective coating of antibodies of the IgA family normally present in a healthy gut. Since IgA helps us ward off infections, with leaky gut problems we become less resistant to viruses, bacteria, parasites and candida. These microbes are then able to invade the bloodstream and colonize almost any body tissue or organ. When this occurs in the gums, periodontal disease results. If it happens in the jaw, tooth extraction or root canals might be necessary to cure the infection.
In addition to the creation of food allergies by the leaky gut, the bloodstream is invaded by bacteria, fungi and parasites that, in the healthy state, would not penetrate the protective barrier of the gut. These microbes and their toxins, if present in large enough amounts, can overwhelm the liver’s ability to detoxify. This results in symptoms such as confusion, memory loss, brain fog or facial swelling when the individual is exposed to a perfume or to cigarette smoke that he or she had no adverse reactions to prior to the development of the leaky gut syndrome.
Leaky gut syndrome also creates a long list of mineral deficiencies because the various carrier proteins present in the gastrointestinal tract that are needed to transport minerals from the intestine to the blood are damaged by the inflammation process. For example, magnesium deficiency (low red blood cell magnesium) is quite a common finding in conditions like fibromyalgia despite a high magnesium intake through the diet and supplementation. If the carrier protein for magnesium is damaged, magnesium deficiency develops as a result of malabsorption. Muscle pain and spasms can occur as a result. Similarly, zinc deficiency due to malabsorption can result in hair loss or baldness as occurs in alopecia areata. Copper deficiency can occur in an identical way leading to high blood cholesterol levels and osteoarthritis. Further, bone problems develop as a result of the malabsorption of calcium, boron, silicon and manganese.
The leaky gut syndrome is basically caused by inflammation of the gut lining. This inflammation is usually brought about by the following:
The leaky gut syndrome can cause the malabsorption of many important micronutrients. The inflammatory process causes swelling (edema) and the presence of many noxious chemicals all of which can block the absorption of vitamins and essential amino acids. A leaky gut does not absorb nutrients properly. Bloating, gas and cramps occur as do a long list of vitamin and mineral deficiencies. Eventually, systemic complaints like fatigue, headaches, memory loss, poor concentration or irritability develop.
Prescription broad spectrum antibiotics, especially when taken for extended periods of time, wipe out all the gut friendly bacteria that provide protection against fungi and amoebic (parasitic) infections, help the body break down complex foods and synthesize vitamins like B12 and biotin. Since this friendly bowel flora is killed off, the body now has no local defence against the parasites or fungi that are normally held in check. This then causes an inflammatory reaction leading to the leaky gut syndrome. Food allergies quickly develop and these may trigger the signs and symptoms of arthritis, eczema, migraines, asthma or other forms of immune dysfunction. Other common symptoms of this bowel flora imbalance and leaky gut syndrome are bloating and gas after meals and alternating constipation with diarrhea. This set of symptoms is usually labelled as IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) or spastic bowel disease and treated symptomatically by general practitioners and gastroenterologists with antispasmodic drugs, tranquilizers or different types of soluble (psyllium) and insoluble (bran) fiber.
The Leaky Gut and IBS
The mainstream thinking on IBS is that it is caused by stress. Irritable bowel syndrome is the number one reason for general practitioner referrals to specialists. In well over 80% of the cases, tests like the intestinal permeability test (a special urine test involving the determination of absorption rates of two sugars called lactulose and mannitol), CDSA or livecell darkfield microscopy reveal the presence of an overgrowth of fungi, parasites or pathogenic bacteria. The one-celled parasite, blastocystis hominis and different species of candida are the most common microbes seen in IBS. The only stress associated with IBS is that which is generated by infection and the leaky gut syndrome. If allowed to persist without the correct treatment, IBS can progress into more serious disorders like the candidiasis syndrome, multiple chemical sensitivities, chronic fatigue syndrome, many autoimmune diseases and even cancer. If treated medically, IBS is rarely cured. To treat it correctly, natural treatments work best and must include the removal of the cause, improvement of gastrointestinal function and healing the lining of the gut.
How to Reverse Leaky Gut Syndrome
Band-aid treatments with corticosteroids, prescription antibiotics and immuno suppressive drugs may be temporarily life-saving for acute episodes of pain, bleeding or severe inflammation as occurs in lupus or colitis. In the long run, however, none of these treatments do anything to heal the leaky gut problem. To reverse the leaky gut syndrome the diet must be completely changed to one which is as hypoallergenic as possible. Sugar, white flour products, all gluten-containing grains (especially wheat, barley, oats and rye), milk and dairy products, high fat foods, caffeine products, alcohol and hidden food allergies determined by testing must all be eliminated for long periods of time (several years in the most severe cases).
Treatment might also include the use of natural antibiotics (echinacea, colloidal silver, garlic), antiparasitics (cloves, wormwood, black walnut) and antifungals (taheebo, caprylic acid, grapefruit seed extract) depending on the type of infection which shows up on objective tests. It is rare that victims require prescription drugs for these infections and they should be discouraged. The drugs are usually expensive, have unpleasant side effects and are best reserved for life-threatening conditions.
Leaky gut syndrome patients can help themselves by chewing their food more thoroughly, following the basic rules of food combining, eating frequent small meals rather than three large ones and taking more time with their meals. Gastrointestinal function can be improved with a juice fast or a hypoallergenic diet and supplements like lactobacillus acidophilus and bifidus as well as FOS (fructooligosaccharides) derived from Jerusalem artichoke, chicory, the dahlia plant or burdock root.
Beneficial Supplements for Leaky Gut Syndrome Natural digestive enzymes – from plant (e,g, bromelain, papain) or pancreatic animal tissues (porcine, bovine, lamb) and aloe vera juice with a high MPS concentration (good brands are International Aloe, Earthnet and Royal) stomach acidity enhancing supplements – betaine and pepsin, glutamic acid, stomach bitters, apple cider vinegar amino acids – L-glutamine, N-acetyl-glucosamine (NAG) essential fatty acids – milled flax, flax seed oil, evening primrose oil, borage oil, olive oil, fish oils, black currant seed oil soluble fiber – psyllium seed husks and powder, apple or citrus pectin, the rice derived gamma oryzanol, antioxidants – carotenoids, B complex, vitamin C, E, zinc, selenium, germanium, Coenzyme Q10, bioflavonoids, especially quercetin, catechin, hesperidin, rutin and proanthocyanidins (pycnogenols, grape seed extract, pine bark extract, bilberry) herbs and plant extracts – kudzu, various high chlorophyll containing green drinks like spirulina, chlorella and blue green algae, burdock, slippery elm, Turkish rhubarb, sheep sorrel, licorice root, ginger root, goldenseal, bismuth and bentonite. Combination Green Foods – two excellent products are Green Life (Bioquest) and Greens Plus (Supplements Plus)
Due to the increasing recognition of chronic fatigue syndrome, the leaky gut syndrome and multiple chemical sensitivity, a number of supplement companies have been marketing powdered hypoallergenic formulations containing most of the nutrients mentioned above in one convenient package. Some brand names include Ultrabalance®, UltraClear Sustain®, UltraClear Plus®, Pro-Cleanse®, Pro-Support® and ActiClear®. The products are only available through natural health care practitioners like chiropractors, nutritional doctors and naturopaths. If you suspect you may be suffering from leaky gut syndrome, the most important thing to do is get yourself tested by a natural health care practitioner. A personalized natural program of diet and supplements can then be instituted to help you reverse this debilitating condition.
I love when I can help families heal health challenges naturally.
Often I will get moms or grandmothers in the store asking about how to treat infant oral thrush holistically.
My protocol is as follows:
This treatment protocol is about 90% effective. It is 100% effective if the mother also balances out her food regime (refined sugar free, low fructose, high vegetable (ideally juicing), high quality fat and carbohydrates).
There is no need for harsh, suppressive pharmaceuticals. Most parents notice once a drug is removed, the thrush simply returns with a vengeance and the immune system has been further compromised by it.
Primarily, it is wise to support the body naturally to help the innate healing abilities do their fine work. Suppressive medicine is there as the last ditch effort, not the first step.
What many people do not realize is that the core issue at the center of women’s empowerment is the mother wound.
Difficulty and challenges between mothers and daughters are rampant and widespread but not openly spoken about. The taboo about speaking about the pain of the mother wound is what keeps it in place and keeps it hidden in shadow, festering and out of view.
What exactly is the mother wound?
The mother wound is the pain of being a woman passed down through generations of women in patriarchal cultures. And it includes the dysfunctional coping mechanisms that are used to process that pain.
The mother wound includes the pain of:
In our patriarchal, male-dominated culture women are conditioned to think of themselves as “less-than” and not deserving or worthy. This feeling of “less-than” has been internalized and passed down through countless generations of women.
The cultural atmosphere of female oppression puts daughters in a “double bind.”
Simply put, if a daughter internalizes her mother’s unconscious beliefs (which is some subtle form of “I’m not good enough”) then she has her mother’s approval but has in some way betrayed herself and her potential.
However, if she doesn’t internalize her mother’s unconscious beliefs in her own limitations but rather affirms her own power and potential, she is aware that her mother may unconsciously see this as a personal rejection.
The daughter doesn’t want to risk losing her mother’s love and approval, so internalizing these limiting, unconscious beliefs is a form of loyalty and emotional survival for the daughter.
It may feel dangerous for a woman to actualize her full potential because it may mean risking some form of rejection by her mother.
This is because the daughter may unconsciously sense that her full empowerment may trigger the mother’s sadness or rage at having had to give up parts of herself in her own life. Her compassion for her mother, a desire to please her, and a fear of conflict may cause her to convince herself that it’s safer to shrink and remain small.
A common objection to facing the mother wound is to “Let the past be in the past.” However, we never truly “escape” or bury the past. It lives in the present as the obstacles and challenges that we face every day. If we avoid dealing with the pain associated with one of THE most primary and foundational relationships in our lives, we are missing a pivotal opportunity to discover the truth of who we are and to authentically and joyfully live that truth.
Stereotypes that perpetuate the mother wound:
We all have sensed the pain that our mothers carry. And all of us are suspicious to some degree that we are partly to blame for her pain. Therein lies the guilt. This makes sense when considering the limited cognitive development of a child, which sees itself as the cause of all things. If we don’t address this unconscious belief as an adult, we may still be walking around with it and greatly limiting ourselves as a result.
The truth is that no child can save her mother.
No sacrifice a daughter makes will ever be enough to compensate for the high price her mother may have had to pay or for the losses she has accrued over the years, simply by being a woman and mother in this culture. And yet, this is what many women do for their mothers very early on in childhood: they unconsciously make a decision to not abandon or betray their mothers by becoming “too successful,” “too smart” or “too adventurous.” This decision is made out of love, loyalty and a true need for approval and emotional support from the mother.
Many of us confuse being loyal to our mothers with being loyal to their wounds, and thus, complicit in our own oppression.
These dynamics are very unconscious and they operate on a continuum. Even the most healthy, supportive mother/daughter relationships may have this dynamic to some degree by virtue of simply being women in this society. And for daughters who have mothers with serious issues (addictions, mental illness, etc.) the impact is can be very damaging and insidious.
Mothers must take responsibility and grieve their losses.
Being a mother in our society is unspeakably difficult. I’ve heard many women say “No one ever tells you how hard it is” and “Nothing prepares you for when you get home with the baby and realize what is being asked of you.” Our culture, especially the U.S., is very hard on mothers, offering little support and many are raising children alone.
Our society’s unspoken messages to mothers:
Mothers may unconsciously project deep rage towards their children in subtle ways. However, the rage really isn’t towards the children. The rage is towards the patriarchal society that requires women to sacrifice and utterly deplete themselves in order to mother a child.
And for a child who needs her mother, sacrificing herself in an effort to somehow ease her mother’s pain is often a subconscious decision made very early in life and not discovered as the cause of underlying issues until much later when she is an adult.
The mother wound exists because there is not a safe place for mothers to process their rage about the sacrifices that society has demanded of them. And because daughters still unconsciously fear rejection for choosing not to make those same sacrifices as previous generations.
In our society, there is no safe place for a mother to vent her rage. And so often it comes out unconsciously to one’s children. A daughter is a very potent target for a mother’s rage because the daughter has not yet had to give up her personhood for motherhood. The young daughter may remind the mother of her un-lived potential. And if the daughter feels worthy enough to reject some of the patriarchal mandates that the mother has had to swallow, then she can easily trigger that underground rage for the mother.
Of course, most mothers want what is best for their daughters. However, if a mother has not dealt with her own pain or come to terms with the sacrifices she has had to make, than her support for her daughter may be laced with traces of messages that subtly instill shame, guilt or obligation. They can seep out in the most benign situations, usually in some form of criticism or some form of bringing praise back to the mother. It’s not usually the content of the statement, but rather the energy with which it is conveyed that can carry hidden resentment.
The way for a mother to prevent directing her rage to her daughter and passing down the mother wound, is for the mother to fully grieve and mourn her own losses. And to make sure that she is not relying on her daughter as her main source of emotional support.
Mothers must mourn what they had to give up, what they wanted but will never have, what their children can never give them and the injustice of their situation. However, as unjust and unfair as it is, it is not the responsibility of the daughter to make amends for the mother’s losses or to feel obligated to sacrifice herself in the same ways. For mothers, It takes tremendous strength and integrity to do this. And mothers need support in this process.
Mothers liberate their daughters when they consciously process their own pain without making it their daughter’s problem. In this way, mothers free their daughters to pursue their dreams without guilt, shame or a sense of obligation.
When mothers unwittingly cause their daughters to feel responsible for their losses and to share in their pain, it creates a dysfunctional enmeshment, reinforcing the daughter’s view that she is not worthy of her dreams. And this supports a daughter’s view that her mother’s pain must somehow be her fault. This can cripple her in so many ways.
For daughters growing up in a patriarchal culture, there is a sense of having to choose between being empowered and being loved.
Most daughters choose to be loved instead of empowered because there is an ominous sense that being fully actualized and empowered may cause a grave loss of love from important people in their lives, specifically their mothers. So women stay small and un-fulfilled, unconsciously passing the mother wound to the next generation.
As a woman, there is a vague but powerful sense that your empowerment will injure your relationships. And women are taught to value relationships over everything else. We cling to the crumbs of our relationships, while our souls may be deeply longing for the fulfillment of our potential. But the truth is that our relationships alone can never adequately substitute for the hunger to live our lives fully.
The power dynamic at the center of the mother/daughter relationship is a taboo subject and the core issue at the center of the mother wound.
Much of this goes underground because of the many taboos and stereotypes about motherhood in this culture:
The truth is that mothers are human beings and all mothers having un-loving moments. And it’s true that there are mothers who are simply un-loving most of the time, whether because of addiction, mental illness or other struggles. Until we are willing to face these uncomfortable realities the mother wound will be in shadow and continue to be passed through the generations.
We all have patriarchy in us to some degree. We’ve had to ingest it to survive in this culture. When we’re ready to confront it fully in ourselves, we also confront it in others, including our mothers. This can be one of the most heart-wrenching of all situations we must face. But unless we are willing to go there, to address the mother wound, we are paying a very high price for the illusion of peace and empowerment.
What is the cost of not healing the mother wound?
The cost of not healing the mother wound is living your life indefinitely with:
There’s a lot of talk these days about ‘embodying the divine feminine’ and being an ‘awakened woman.’ But the reality is that we cannot be a strong container of the power of the divine feminine if we have not yet addressed the places within us where we have felt banished and in exile from the Feminine.
Let’s face it: Our first enounter with the Goddess was with our mothers. Until we have the courage to break the taboo and face the pain we have experienced in relation to our mothers, the divine feminine is another form of a fairy tale, a fantasy of rescue by a mother who is not coming. This keeps us in spiritual immaturity. We have to separate the human mother from the archetype in order to be true carriers of this energy. We have to de-construct the faulty structures within us before we can truly build new structures to hold it. Until we do this we remain stuck in a kind of limbo where our empowerment is short-lived and the only explanation for our predicament that seems to make sense is to blame ourselves.
If we avoid acknowledging the full impact of our mother’s pain on our lives, we still remain to some degree, children.
Coming into full empowerment requires looking at our relationship with our mothers and having the courage to separate out our own individual beliefs, values, thoughts from hers. It requires feeling the grief of having to witness the pain our mothers endured and processing our own legitimate pain that we endured as a result. This is so challenging but it is the beginning of real freedom.
Once we feel the pain it can be transformed and it will cease creating obstacles in our lives.
So what happens when women heal the mother wound?
As we heal the mother wound, the power dynamic is increasingly resolved because women are no longer asking one another to stay small to ease their own pain. The pain of living in patriarchy ceases to be taboo. We don’t have to pretend and hide behind false masks that hide our pain under a facade of effortlessly holding it together. The pain can then be seen as legitimate, embraced, processed and integrated and ultimately transformed into wisdom and power.
Once women increasingly process the pain of the mother wound, we can create safe places for women to express the truth of their pain and receive much needed support. Mothers and daughters can communicate with one another without fear that the truth of their feelings will break their relationship. The pain no longer needs to go underground and into shadow, where it manifests as manipulation, competition and self-hatred. Our pain can be grieved fully so that it can then turn into love, a love that manifests as fierce support of one another and deep self-acceptance, freeing us to be boldly authentic, creative and truly fulfilled.
When we heal the mother wound, we begin to grasp the stunning degree of impact a mother’s well-being has on the life of her child, especially in early childhood when the child and mother are still a single unit. Our mothers form the very basis of who we become: our beliefs start out as her beliefs, our habits start out as her habits. Some of this is so unconscious and fundamental, it is barely perceptible.
The mother wound is ultimately not about your mother. It’s about embracing yourself and your gifts without shame.
We address the mother wound because it is a critical part of self-actualization and saying YES to being the powerful and potent women that we are being called to become. Healing the mother wound is ultimately about acknowledging and honoring the foundation our mothers provided for our lives so that we can then fully focus on creating the unique lives that we authentically desire and know we are capable of creating.
Benefits of healing the mother wound:
We can confidently emerge into our own lives, with the energy and vitality to create what we desire without shame or guilt, but with passion, power, joy, confidence, and love.
For every human being, the very first wound of the heart was at the site of the mother, the feminine. And through the process of healing that wound, our hearts graduate from a compromised state of defensiveness and fear to a whole new level of love and power, which connects us to the divine heart of Life itself. We are from then on connected to the archetypal, collective heart that lives in all beings, and are carriers and transmitters of true compassion and love that the world needs right now. In this way, the mother wound is actually an opportunity and an initiation into the divine feminine. This is why it’s so crucial for women to heal the mother wound: Your personal healing and re-connection to the heart of life, by way of the feminine, affects the whole and supports our collective evolution.
© Bethany Webster 2013
View source here: http://womboflight.com/2014/01/18/why-its-crucial-for-women-to-heal-the-mother-wound/
We are in a intimate, inter-dynamic relationship with bacteria, they are not the enemy! We need to educate ourselves properly on this issue...
By Anthony Gucciardi
Contributing Writer for Wake Up World
Scientists are now confirming what many natural health advocates have been saying for years regarding the role bacteria plays in the body. Bacteria, and exposure to bacteria on a daily basis, is essential to a proper immune system. With many parents ensuring that their children are virtually never exposed to enough bacteria through sanitizing everything they touch with triclosan-containing antibacterial wipes and gels, children worldwide are not being exposed to an adequate amount of immune-bolstering bacteria in the environment.
Adults are also being effected, as many individuals feel that virtually all germs or bacteria are bad and make a large effort to scrub them from their daily life. The new research, which simply enforces what has been known for centuries, shows that problems can arise when your exposure to germs is decreased. In fact, it could make you sick. The concept is referred to as the ‘hygiene hypothesis’, which essentially says that diseases affect more individuals in the modern world where hygiene and mobile sanitizers are king.
The new study comes from the Women’s Hospital in Boston, and shows just how drastically bacteria exposure can affect the health of you and your entire family. Researchers examined two groups of mice with very different outcomes. The first group was exposed to a normal bacteria environment, while the second was completely germ-free. The scientists then compared the immune systems of both groups, finding evidence that powerfully demonstrates the importance of bacterial exposure.
Not only did the mice which were exposed to microbes have stronger immune systems than the germ-free mice, but the germ-free mice had significant inflammation in their lungs and colon — similar to asthma and ulcerative colitis in humans. One immune cell in particular, the invariant natural killer T cell, was particularly hyperactive as well.
“There is a very beneficial role for microbes in health,” senior study author Dr. Richard Blumberg said.
While it can be a challenge in modern society, it is important to allow yourself natural exposure to bacteria in the environment. Something known as ‘grounding’ may be particularly beneficial. Grounding is simply the practice of coming into contact with the earth while barefoot, which has been shown by peer-reviewed research to help remedy a number of conditions. It is also highly important to consume an adequate amount of probiotics in food or supplement form, also known as the ‘good bacteria‘. Fermented food items such as sauerkraut, tempeh, miso or kefir are all rich sources of probiotic bacteria.
You could WIN this prize pack for mom, worth over $70!!!
Basket contains: Natural citronella soap, tonifying cream, 3 different perfume oils, sage tea for mom or baby, almond lip balm, orange scarf, earrings & a pair of fingerless gloves!
COPY & PASTE THIS LINK ON YOUR FACEBOOK PAGE FOR EXTRA ENTRIES & visit daily to increase your chances!
MOTHER'S DAY is right around the corner on Sunday May 11th!
Amandha D. Vollmer
This creative mompreneur herbalist